I'm very frusterated with Ryan right now.
I'm having a hard time fitting into words how I feel. I love him dearly. That's not in question. Sometimes though...sometimes I just can't deal with him. He gets into these little moods where he's angry or bitter or assy or whatever the hell he's calling it.
Then he pushes me away. And pushes. And pushes. The harder I try to be close to him, the harder he pushes me away. These are the days I don't know if it's worth it. These are the days I cry myself to sleep. These are the days I want to die.
I don't want him to be fake and always happy. I don't want him to push away the frusteration. But I do wish he'd let me help.
I just want to share the good things I feel I've done. That's selfish...but I want him to be able to share in the little successes. Right now, it feels worthless.
I hate this game.