~I'm starting to feel really depressed.
~I feel like everything I do is like throwing myself agianst a brick wall. The only thing that changes is how shitty I feel.
~I feel like Ryan only comes down here when he has another reason--like he never comes down here just for me. I'm sure that's not true...but it really feels like it. It feels like I am putting most of the effort into this relationship and I hate that. It's not ture...I'm just selfcentered and desperate for attention.
~Sometimes it doesn't even feel like I have a boyfriend. I go to movies alone. I go to dinner alone. I sit around my apartment and watch Scrubs alone. Aren't boyfriends suposed to be people you can do things with? It is *hard* when they are so far away.~